1 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:23,020 But, as the reader might expect, living among the natives was fraught with 2 00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:24,020 privation. 3 00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:28,500 The real hazard, however, is not physical, but mental. 4 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:32,720 Earth's whole atmosphere is permeated by raw, naked emotion. 5 00:00:33,420 --> 00:00:36,660 Uh, mm -mm -mm -mm. No, no, strike that naked. 6 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,160 I don't want to sound like a movie act. 7 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,820 Sometimes my head throbs from reading Earth people's minds. 8 00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:46,720 Such brutal passion. 9 00:00:49,740 --> 00:00:51,420 Such a fight Tim and Dolores had. 10 00:00:57,180 --> 00:01:01,300 Want to buy five pounds of peanut brittle? Cheap? You and Dolores fought. 11 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:02,940 should have been on closed circuit TV. 12 00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:14,260 Uncle Martin, could you please get your own typewriter? Now, I know that this 13 00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:17,480 sounds silly to you, but after you've used mine, it bucks. 14 00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:22,850 You're just upset over Dolores. 15 00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,050 Well, you don't understand. 16 00:01:24,570 --> 00:01:25,730 That was the real thing. 17 00:01:26,030 --> 00:01:27,170 Why, because she was a redhead? 18 00:01:27,530 --> 00:01:29,470 No, because it was love at first sight. 19 00:01:30,850 --> 00:01:32,150 Well, at least I thought it was. 20 00:01:33,190 --> 00:01:34,270 Love at first sight. 21 00:01:34,630 --> 00:01:35,630 Sounds fascinating. 22 00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,710 I've read about it, but it's an emotion we don't have on Mars. 23 00:01:39,210 --> 00:01:40,210 Don't have? 24 00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:44,510 Either it wasn't worth bothering about, or it was jettison back in the dusky 25 00:01:44,510 --> 00:01:45,910 ages. You mean the dark ages? 26 00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:47,510 Tim, we were never that primitive. 27 00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:50,190 Wait a minute. 28 00:01:51,310 --> 00:01:54,550 What a fabulous chapter an unknown emotion could make for my book. 29 00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:56,550 Tell me about it. 30 00:01:56,770 --> 00:01:57,770 Me? 31 00:01:59,150 --> 00:02:04,170 Well, it, uh... Well, it's sort of a... No, it's not like that at all. 32 00:02:04,770 --> 00:02:10,690 No, it's, uh... It's more of a, uh... No, no. 33 00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:13,010 Uncle Martin, look. 34 00:02:13,990 --> 00:02:16,010 Even the poets can't do it justice. 35 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:18,010 It's not something that you tell. 36 00:02:19,030 --> 00:02:20,390 It's something that you feel. 37 00:02:22,570 --> 00:02:23,529 An emotion. 38 00:02:23,530 --> 00:02:24,530 Hmm. 39 00:02:25,410 --> 00:02:26,410 Hmm. 40 00:02:27,550 --> 00:02:31,850 I wonder if I could... Oh, now, wait a minute. You make me nervous when you... 41 00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:33,190 Hmm, like that. 42 00:02:33,630 --> 00:02:34,870 If you could what? 43 00:02:35,110 --> 00:02:37,030 Could experience the emotion myself. 44 00:03:22,830 --> 00:03:26,450 He jests at scars that never felt a wound, but soft. 45 00:03:26,770 --> 00:03:28,830 What light through yonder window breaks? 46 00:03:29,190 --> 00:03:32,170 It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. 47 00:03:33,230 --> 00:03:34,290 Morning, Uncle Martin. 48 00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:37,910 He speaks, yet he says nothing. What of that? 49 00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:41,150 His eye discourses. I will answer him. 50 00:03:41,710 --> 00:03:43,930 Uh, good morrow, Tim. 51 00:03:45,370 --> 00:03:46,830 Gadzooks. Shakespeare. 52 00:03:47,590 --> 00:03:50,650 An amazing fellow. 53 00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:54,750 The only subject he didn't cover with a quotation is Mars. He retired early. 54 00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:59,670 I still can't find whoever loved that loved not at first sight. 55 00:04:00,290 --> 00:04:01,310 That was Marlowe. 56 00:04:01,630 --> 00:04:03,910 Uncle Martin, I hope you're not still on that kick. 57 00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:05,810 I've been priming all morning. 58 00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:09,150 Oh, by the way, Tim, do you have a torn T -shirt I could borrow? I'm beginning 59 00:04:09,150 --> 00:04:10,150 to feel earthy. 60 00:04:11,230 --> 00:04:14,810 I'm afraid, Uncle Martin, that I misled you last night because this emotion is 61 00:04:14,810 --> 00:04:18,769 not all that it's cracked up to be. You know something? You people are very wise 62 00:04:18,769 --> 00:04:19,870 not to have it up there. 63 00:04:20,079 --> 00:04:23,480 But some of your greatest literature is based on love at first sight. Romeo and 64 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,060 Juliet, Hero and Leander, Tarzan and Jane. 65 00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:27,860 It's not all cloud nine. 66 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,180 People suffer. 67 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,600 Look at Dante. 68 00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:32,660 Look at me. 69 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,480 You seem to have slept all right. 70 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:38,760 When will I wake up? You'll see some suffering that'll tear your heart out. 71 00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:43,220 Now, just suppose you fell in love with a married woman. 72 00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:47,040 That possibility doesn't stop you people. 73 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:52,340 No, I'm serious. There could be repercussions. This emotion carries you 74 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:53,540 You become captive. 75 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:55,520 You become helpless, powerless. 76 00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:59,040 From your point of view, yes, but that's because you people are never in 77 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,040 complete control of yourselves. 78 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,580 With me, it's only an experiment. 79 00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:05,200 Once I experience a feeling, I write it in my chapter, and that's the end of it. 80 00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:10,060 I feel earthy. 81 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,380 I feel earthy. 82 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,480 I feel earthy. 83 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,320 I feel earthy. 84 00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:34,360 I guess the feeling must have been bred out of us. 85 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:41,080 I was just leaving. 86 00:06:30,670 --> 00:06:32,510 You didn't tell me you were going to bench hop. 87 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,070 Well, we were supposed to have lunch together, remember? 88 00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:37,690 And boy, we got something to celebrate. 89 00:06:37,910 --> 00:06:39,350 Dolores and I are back together again. 90 00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:40,830 Mm -hmm. 91 00:06:41,330 --> 00:06:42,850 What's the matter, Uncle Martin? You look a little peaked. 92 00:06:45,950 --> 00:06:46,950 Uncle Martin? 93 00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:49,590 Did it happen? 94 00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:53,830 Well, how do you feel? Who is she? 95 00:06:54,930 --> 00:06:55,930 I don't know. 96 00:06:56,330 --> 00:06:57,990 It all happened so fast. 97 00:06:58,610 --> 00:07:00,310 I never had a chance to... 98 00:07:02,710 --> 00:07:05,310 Tim, I know nothing about her. 99 00:07:06,130 --> 00:07:08,450 Tim, Tim, we have to find her. 100 00:07:08,830 --> 00:07:10,770 But, Uncle Martin, you've already experienced the feeling. 101 00:07:10,970 --> 00:07:12,910 So, I want to savor the feeling a little. 102 00:07:19,010 --> 00:07:24,710 Uncle Martin, look, I've had it. I mean, Sunset Boulevard is 18 miles long. 103 00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:28,290 But we've only come a short way. I know, Uncle Martin, but look. Well, maybe she 104 00:07:28,290 --> 00:07:30,990 took a cab or a bus. Yes, yes. I guess you're right, Tim. 105 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,500 But it would have been nice knowing her name. 106 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,400 Look, Tim! 107 00:07:44,260 --> 00:07:45,260 It's her! 108 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:47,180 That's her? 109 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:49,800 Peaches and cream? 110 00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:04,060 when you fall, you sure do it literally. 111 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,000 Oh, nonsense. 112 00:08:06,540 --> 00:08:07,580 Nonsense. It was hot. 113 00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:09,080 We did a lot of walking. 114 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:12,860 And the mixture of your oxygen smog was too rich for me. 115 00:08:14,940 --> 00:08:16,500 Will you please stop that? 116 00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:22,460 Well, anyway, you know her name. Boy, I'm glad that's over. 117 00:08:23,220 --> 00:08:24,220 Yes. 118 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:26,320 But I've got to see Miss Peaches again, Tim. 119 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:31,140 Talk to her and have her to dinner and don't look so bewildered. I'm in 120 00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:34,309 control. Oh, sure. Just like when you were talking Martian. 121 00:08:35,169 --> 00:08:36,169 I spoke? 122 00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,830 Mm -hmm. You sounded just like Alvin the Chipmunk. 123 00:08:40,070 --> 00:08:43,350 Well, I think in my native tongue, and I just didn't bother to translate. 124 00:08:43,730 --> 00:08:46,750 In any case, your fears are unfounded. I'm not suffering. 125 00:08:46,990 --> 00:08:48,010 I feel wonderful. 126 00:08:48,530 --> 00:08:49,730 Just like I did at A. 127 00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:51,730 Don't push your luck. 128 00:08:53,470 --> 00:08:54,470 Tell me, Tim. 129 00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:57,830 Why was her picture in front of that building? And why did she have on that 130 00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:58,830 costume? 131 00:08:59,490 --> 00:09:00,490 Oh! 132 00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:07,340 Well... You see, we... You... You mean you've 133 00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:13,780 never... Up there, they don't have... 134 00:09:13,780 --> 00:09:16,880 Well, that's interesting. 135 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:25,080 You see, we... We have an art form in which bits of clothing 136 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:28,240 are removed during rhythmic dance. 137 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,240 I'll have to include that in my book. 138 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:31,880 It's worth a footnote. 139 00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:36,180 Tim, would you do me a favor? 140 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,400 I've always been intimidated by artists. 141 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,840 Would you be kind enough to ask Miss Peaches if she will have dinner with me? 142 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,420 Uncle Martin, I am your friend. 143 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,780 Please, Tim, I'd rather not do it myself. 144 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,140 Absolutely no. 145 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,740 Now, the first thing I'd like to get squared away is my name. 146 00:09:57,140 --> 00:09:58,140 It's Ria. 147 00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:00,570 My daddy was the comic of a cell block. 148 00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:03,250 He was a guard. 149 00:10:06,050 --> 00:10:09,730 Tell me, have you ever interviewed an ecthesiast before? 150 00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:12,290 Actually, no. 151 00:10:12,690 --> 00:10:14,870 No. I didn't think so. 152 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:18,170 Relax. I'm a very human being. 153 00:10:19,110 --> 00:10:21,710 Yes, I can see that. I didn't realize that. 154 00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:26,150 Did you know that the word ecthesiast was coined by a newspaper man? 155 00:10:26,770 --> 00:10:27,770 No, I didn't. 156 00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:31,370 I'm a fond of little scraps of knowledge like that. 157 00:10:31,810 --> 00:10:33,870 My problem is putting them together. 158 00:10:34,270 --> 00:10:36,430 Any hobbies? 159 00:10:36,990 --> 00:10:39,590 Reading. Every afternoon in the park. 160 00:10:39,910 --> 00:10:43,190 I'm concurrently wading through Roger the Therese's book. 161 00:10:47,570 --> 00:10:49,330 Do you have any pet peeves? 162 00:10:50,090 --> 00:10:51,090 Dishonesty. 163 00:10:51,810 --> 00:10:55,770 Maybe it's an occupational hazard, but nobody tells me the truth. 164 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,760 I can get lied to about things like the time. 165 00:10:59,940 --> 00:11:03,320 See what I mean? 166 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:06,980 I've got three minutes easy, and it makes a difference. 167 00:11:07,460 --> 00:11:09,280 Those wings are drafty. 168 00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:14,440 Miss Anne Cream, I have an uncle who'd very much like to have dinner with you 169 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,980 tonight. Boy, are you a disappointment. 170 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:23,620 No, really. I'm not asking for myself. It's my Uncle Martin. He's a very nice 171 00:11:23,620 --> 00:11:24,620 person. 172 00:11:24,910 --> 00:11:26,250 Where would the dinner be? 173 00:11:26,650 --> 00:11:27,650 Your apartment? 174 00:11:27,890 --> 00:11:30,110 Yeah. Oh, he lives there, too. 175 00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:33,550 You see, he would have asked himself, but, well, he's a very shy guy. 176 00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:35,270 He's shy? 177 00:11:35,330 --> 00:11:36,330 Uh -huh. 178 00:11:36,650 --> 00:11:37,970 I like shy men. 179 00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:41,390 They're so reticent. And I meet so few. 180 00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:43,030 Then you'll come? 181 00:11:43,690 --> 00:11:47,690 Okay. But if you've just got a bunch of etchings you want me to look at... Hey, 182 00:11:47,690 --> 00:11:48,690 kids, I'm stage. 183 00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:56,650 call me about the details later. 184 00:11:57,970 --> 00:12:01,370 Even if you're lying, the uncle bit is kind of a cute pitch. 185 00:12:07,530 --> 00:12:09,750 Wait a minute. The flag's not up. 186 00:12:12,170 --> 00:12:13,530 Effective windshield wipers. 187 00:12:14,570 --> 00:12:18,650 Oh, now, come on. This is California. It hasn't rained here in nine months. 188 00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:21,130 It's about due, isn't it? 189 00:12:22,090 --> 00:12:24,950 Well, I never thought that I would be the victim of police brutality. 190 00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:29,950 You got a press sticker? If you don't like the way I run my beat, write an 191 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:30,950 editorial. 192 00:12:31,130 --> 00:12:33,630 Now, wait a minute. Is there something personal in that? 193 00:12:34,570 --> 00:12:36,490 I thought you'd never ask. 194 00:12:36,850 --> 00:12:37,850 What'd I do? 195 00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:42,190 Look, playboy, I'm not a bachelor by choice. Peaches and I almost... Peaches? 196 00:12:42,650 --> 00:12:45,430 You got her pretty shook up, but don't count me out. 197 00:12:46,310 --> 00:12:48,330 I can get these by the gross. 198 00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:55,570 He was the first lover in history with a rival from outer space. 199 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:09,990 Surely I'm not losing control. 200 00:13:10,930 --> 00:13:11,930 Of course not. 201 00:13:14,990 --> 00:13:17,010 All the same, I'd better be on guard. 202 00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:27,250 Uncle Martin. 203 00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:49,610 Miss Anne Cream, may I present my Uncle Martin. 204 00:13:50,590 --> 00:13:51,590 How do you do? 205 00:13:53,370 --> 00:13:54,670 I'm so glad you could come. 206 00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,540 You didn't tell me he was a foreigner. 207 00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:03,960 Well, he watches the late show a lot. 208 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:10,360 Well, I think I just better be going. 209 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,360 Good night. 210 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:14,340 Good 211 00:14:14,340 --> 00:14:23,840 night. 212 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:27,500 Marty, you haven't touched a thing. Do you feel all right? 213 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,360 Wonderful. As a little girl, I was taught to clean my plate. 214 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,460 I had to eat everything because other kids were starving. 215 00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:39,120 I never did figure out how that would help them. 216 00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:42,200 But as you can see, the habit persisted. 217 00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:44,840 I'm delighted you had a good time. 218 00:14:46,580 --> 00:14:47,820 Tell me more about yourself. 219 00:14:49,460 --> 00:14:50,460 Well, 220 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,060 my big goal in life is to have my own TV exercise show. 221 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,700 Oh, I imagine you'd be very good at that. 222 00:14:57,390 --> 00:14:58,610 You seem to be quite supple. 223 00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:01,050 Well, it's really a public service. 224 00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:04,690 As it is now, whole sets of muscles are being neglected. 225 00:15:05,950 --> 00:15:07,550 But first I want to write a book. 226 00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:09,810 I already have a great title. 227 00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:13,030 Life is just one great big runway. 228 00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:15,070 Something about aviation? 229 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,290 Marty, I like you. 230 00:15:20,730 --> 00:15:22,630 You have a wonderful sense of humor. 231 00:15:23,910 --> 00:15:25,970 But I hardly know anything about you. 232 00:15:26,270 --> 00:15:27,330 Oh, well, I'm writing a book, too. 233 00:15:27,610 --> 00:15:28,610 Oh, good. 234 00:15:29,050 --> 00:15:30,050 What kind? 235 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:31,530 What's it about? 236 00:15:31,650 --> 00:15:35,230 Oh, it's about people like you and me. 237 00:15:36,070 --> 00:15:39,010 In some circles, I suppose it would be considered science fiction. 238 00:15:39,530 --> 00:15:40,730 I love a star. 239 00:15:41,790 --> 00:15:45,430 You know, without them, we'd have no astrology. 240 00:15:46,890 --> 00:15:50,470 Peaches, I wonder if I could see you again sometime. 241 00:15:52,090 --> 00:15:53,890 My horoscope says we'll be... 242 00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,640 Seeing a great deal of each other. 243 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:00,820 Tell me, of which of my routines do you like the best? 244 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:03,820 I'm afraid I've never seen you perform. 245 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,500 Really, Marty? 246 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,080 Well, you're the first man who's ever asked me out before. 247 00:16:11,740 --> 00:16:12,900 Oh, but I'll make up for it. 248 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,740 From now on, I'll be in the front row at every performance. 249 00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:18,160 Oh, please don't. 250 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,040 That'd spoil everything. 251 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,460 Shall we keep it this way? 252 00:16:23,540 --> 00:16:24,540 Could you? 253 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,740 I'll never know what I'm missing, but you have my promise. 254 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:29,300 Thank you. 255 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:35,660 Is that your cat? 256 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:38,960 Already? 257 00:16:56,579 --> 00:16:58,760 Marty, I've had a very nice evening. 258 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,520 Not half as nice as mine. 259 00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:16,079 Marty, if I didn't know better, I'd think I was hearing bells. 260 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:25,020 Uncle Martin? 261 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,910 Uncle Martin, what are you doing standing around in the dark? 262 00:17:35,070 --> 00:17:36,070 Waiting for you, Tim. 263 00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:39,210 You're the only real friend I have on Earth. 264 00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:42,210 Would you do us the honor of being best man? 265 00:17:42,690 --> 00:17:44,610 Oh, sure, I'd be glad to. 266 00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:46,310 Best man? 267 00:17:46,370 --> 00:17:48,110 Isn't it wonderful? I've lost control. 268 00:17:48,350 --> 00:17:52,130 You've lost your mind. I'm in love, deeply in love. So am I, but I don't 269 00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:52,769 get married. 270 00:17:52,770 --> 00:17:53,910 I know Felicia will understand. 271 00:17:54,630 --> 00:17:55,830 Do you mean you're already married? 272 00:17:56,030 --> 00:17:58,290 No, no, Felicia's my sister, and I know she'll love peaches. 273 00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:01,250 Oh, Uncle Martin, come down to Earth. Now be reasonable. 274 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:05,260 You are a Martian. I see no reason why a mixed marriage can't work. 275 00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:09,000 But not you and Peaches. 276 00:18:09,340 --> 00:18:14,940 You are an anthropologist, and she is a peeler. Do I detect a note of snobbery? 277 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,780 Well, perhaps so, but the point still remains that you have nothing in common. 278 00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:20,180 We're both writing books. 279 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:25,740 Even if you were one of us, that combination just wouldn't work. 280 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,820 Forget what Peaches does. I love her for what she is. But your world's apart! 281 00:18:30,590 --> 00:18:34,850 And by this I mean it just isn't fair to her. She has everything to gain. She 282 00:18:34,850 --> 00:18:37,970 has a bright, quick mind, and I can help her realize her potential. 283 00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:40,190 Look how much you've improved since I've been around. 284 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:43,750 But Pygmalion didn't marry the girl. He had no confidence. 285 00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:52,370 Uncle Martin, how can a guy become such a romantic in one day? 286 00:18:52,770 --> 00:18:54,090 I was born romantic. 287 00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:58,410 Did you know that we have two moons and that one of them rises and sets three 288 00:18:58,410 --> 00:18:59,410 times a day? 289 00:18:59,580 --> 00:19:03,280 There's romance for you. Why, I'll show Peaches the wonders of the universe. 290 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,680 The Aurora Borealis up close. 291 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,040 Star clusters and galaxies that she's never dreamed of. 292 00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:10,700 We'll honeymoon in the Big Dipper. 293 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,600 Incidentally, her horoscope says that I'm very good for her. Are you going to 294 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,180 tell Peaches that you're a Martian? Hmm? 295 00:19:16,820 --> 00:19:19,960 Are you going to tell Peaches that you are a Martian? 296 00:19:20,220 --> 00:19:22,320 Well, there I'll follow the Earthian pattern. 297 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,640 Doesn't the husband always tell the wife after the marriage that they've been 298 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:27,640 fired? 299 00:19:28,220 --> 00:19:29,220 Uncle Martin. 300 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:30,480 It's unfair. 301 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:34,160 Now, aren't you people always saying that all's fair in love and war? 302 00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:36,420 Well, Mars is a war planet. 303 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:42,480 Hello, Marty. 304 00:19:44,940 --> 00:19:45,940 Hello, Peaches. 305 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:58,820 Please forgive me if I do this wrong. 306 00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:03,720 But... Before you say anything more, I have a confession to make about last 307 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:04,960 night. There's no need, really. 308 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,800 I'll remember this day all my life, so I want it to be right. 309 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:16,760 You see, I liked you almost from the very first. 310 00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:20,960 And I wanted to make a good impression on you. 311 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,300 You did more than that. 312 00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:24,220 But not with the truth. 313 00:20:25,460 --> 00:20:28,120 I thought about a book, but I'll never... 314 00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:33,470 I mean... Well, I'm no Gypsy Rose Lee. 315 00:20:34,010 --> 00:20:35,470 She can spell anything. 316 00:20:36,170 --> 00:20:37,170 So can I. 317 00:20:37,630 --> 00:20:38,630 We'll collaborate. 318 00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:42,950 And my own TV exercise show is a pipe dream, too. 319 00:20:44,270 --> 00:20:45,310 Cameras scare me. 320 00:20:45,950 --> 00:20:48,910 I even freeze up for snapshots. 321 00:20:51,910 --> 00:20:54,890 There. I feel better now that I've been honest. 322 00:20:56,410 --> 00:20:57,410 Peaches. 323 00:20:59,020 --> 00:21:00,440 You make me feel very ashamed. 324 00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:02,900 There were things that I wasn't going to tell you. 325 00:21:03,620 --> 00:21:04,620 You're out of work. 326 00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:07,280 That too. 327 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:14,220 What I have to say to you may seem fantastic, bizarre, incredible. 328 00:21:15,420 --> 00:21:18,000 Only, only trust me. 329 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,660 You're giving me goosebumps. 330 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:22,580 Where to begin? 331 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,720 Actually, I'm not really Tim's uncle. 332 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,700 You mean one of those adoption situations? 333 00:21:29,380 --> 00:21:30,800 In a manner of speaking, yes. 334 00:21:32,380 --> 00:21:33,860 You see, I'm really from Mars. 335 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,000 And when my saucer crashed, Tim found me. 336 00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:41,900 I can show you the saucer. 337 00:21:42,540 --> 00:21:43,820 It's at home in the garage. 338 00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:46,540 I'll bet it's still right under the cup. 339 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:53,320 I don't expect to know all about your past. 340 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,000 I've got a couple of skeletons myself. 341 00:21:58,760 --> 00:21:59,900 But it's all true. 342 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:05,160 Marty, I love your sense of humor, but... Well, enough's enough. 343 00:22:07,180 --> 00:22:10,180 The truth is essential to our whole future relationship. 344 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,460 But I'll settle for a little thing. 345 00:22:14,660 --> 00:22:15,720 Where were you born? 346 00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:18,700 Why that? 347 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,420 Well, I've only been proposed to once before and... 348 00:22:22,940 --> 00:22:24,680 And he told me six different places. 349 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,880 The translation is Canal Fulton. 350 00:22:29,940 --> 00:22:31,120 Canal Fulton, Ohio? 351 00:22:31,540 --> 00:22:33,740 Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? 352 00:22:34,380 --> 00:22:38,160 I played there for 16 weeks once. It's a lovely town. 353 00:22:39,020 --> 00:22:40,020 Peaches. 354 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,040 Canal Fulton, Mars. 355 00:22:44,300 --> 00:22:46,420 Marty, don't horse around. 356 00:22:48,220 --> 00:22:49,940 You're going to spoil everything. 357 00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:51,560 Now, don't do it. 358 00:22:52,350 --> 00:22:55,130 Don't. Hey, is this guy bothering you, Peaches? 359 00:22:55,370 --> 00:22:58,870 Yes, just the way you did. Only he's got more imagination. 360 00:23:00,630 --> 00:23:02,530 I thought it was a guy with a sports car. 361 00:23:03,390 --> 00:23:05,230 You two guys ought to form a club. 362 00:23:05,470 --> 00:23:08,630 Peaches, I want you to marry me. I asked her first. So solve a crime. 363 00:23:10,210 --> 00:23:16,390 I know I told you I was born in Denver. And then I forgot and said I was born in 364 00:23:16,390 --> 00:23:21,760 Boston. Some honest cop you are. My daddy turned over in his grave. I don't 365 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:22,760 where I was born. 366 00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:25,540 I was brought up in an orphanage. 367 00:23:26,580 --> 00:23:27,580 But now you know. 368 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,340 Well, now we're getting somewhere, Marty. 369 00:23:34,380 --> 00:23:35,960 Which canal, Fulton? 370 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:42,920 The one you didn't play. 371 00:23:51,210 --> 00:23:52,210 Goodbye, Marty. 372 00:23:57,410 --> 00:23:59,590 Do you want to walk back to the theater with me? 373 00:24:12,350 --> 00:24:13,350 Goodbye. 374 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,600 You and Dolores had another fight? 375 00:24:30,620 --> 00:24:31,680 She is impossible. 376 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,000 Tim, I'm afraid I've never given you Earth men enough credit. 377 00:24:39,420 --> 00:24:42,040 That's what I've been trying to tell you all the time. It takes a real talent to 378 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:43,040 understand an Earth woman. 379 00:24:43,620 --> 00:24:44,720 You know what makes me miserable? 380 00:24:45,020 --> 00:24:46,100 What? This stuff. 381 00:24:47,540 --> 00:24:48,540 I'm hooked on it. 382 00:24:50,980 --> 00:24:51,980 You know something, Tim? 383 00:24:52,460 --> 00:24:54,580 I don't think I'll ever be able to face another Peach.